Not just a game Without football, some players, coaches worried about mental health Football
Maryland GazetteAug 26, 2020
For some players, losing a football season means losing the thing they loved the most. For others, training for a potential spring season comes with complications. For others, it's even more precarious.
Okoye would have lost his first season at Bowie State no matter what. The former Arundel wide receiver suffered a shoulder injury during a playoff game in his senior year, and after having surgery a few weeks back is sidelined through at least November. The Bulldogs' conference, the
That fact doesn't ease Okoye's mind. What's worse is now he can't fill his days like his friends and teammates can, with workouts and conditioning, to block his thoughts. Football is truly gone.
"If I wasn't injured and I had the option to sit because of COVID or play football, I'm playing football. Football is the getaway. It's a difference-maker in my life, for sure," Okoye said. "When I'm in a game or practice, there's nothing outside of that. Anything's going on in my life, as soon as I put those pads on and step in the lines, it's gone."
Okoye's happy his friends are conditioning. He thinks this should be the best season of football in history come spring, if it happens, since everyone has so much time to train. He knows he'll catch up. But regardless, he's alone. There's really no one he can share with, and so those anxieties fester.
"I'm not the type of person to speak on my feelings," Okoye said. "The way I see it, if I speak, who really cares?"
When Okoye's home, he watches film and tries to focus on images of him making a big play in a Bowie State uniform. Of winning a national championship. Of buying his mom a house.
All his life, Okoye has soaked in his mother's struggles. He felt he had to grow up young and fend for himself. His sister, now just 13, already acts like a grown woman.
"At the end of the day, I told her, I'll make sure I pay you back for everything you've done, the sacrifice you've made, the struggle and pain you've put yourself through for us," Okoye said of his mother.
It's because of her that he fears his world without football.
"Honestly, if I lost football, I don't know what I'd do. Football is literally all I've got," Okoye said. "People always tell me have a plan B. There is no plan B. It's football or nothing."
Jumping over hurdles
Early into quarantine, working out came with complications for Bowie State offensive lineman and Meade graduate
It strained him mentally to be apart. It was like being a stranger, Wilson said, in your own family.
Now, months later, things have gotten looser. His grandparents allow him to go work out, usually at Meade or Arundel's high school fields, so long as he gets tested for the virus every now and then. Back in April, Wilson said he would face his fears and trust God to protect himself if he wanted to be first-string at Bowie State next year. He always knew the risk of infection was there and does now.
"It's worrisome, but at the same time, some people still have to work," Wilson said. "Playing a college sport is like work. They take the risk going to work, I take the risk working out."
It's lonely working out alone. Wilson misses the camaraderie, especially after a long, hard workout. He's anticipating a long, cold fall season, as some Division I schools and potentially the
"It's going to be difficult either watching professionals or a division higher than you play when you've got to sit at home and do nothing but just watch," Wilson said. "You got to take it as a learning experience. You got to realize after college, what else is there to do for you? You've got to think of it as, this is life after sports."
Structure is what keeps Archbishop Spalding rising senior
"I like it. It gives me something to do. Keeps me occupied during this time," he said.
Coronavirus lurks around Wheatley every day he's out in the workforce. He never removes his mask or gloves, unlike some of his co-workers. He can't bring the virus home, not with two younger siblings, his grandmother, and his and his father's asthma.
Spalding's football workouts had given Wheatley purpose, but those ended
Wheatley's lucky nonetheless. He can lift at home and do speed workouts with his father outside. The coaching staff at Penn State, where Wheatley committed in the spring, assured him that despite the lost college season, Wheatley would not be losing his spot.
He knows not everyone is as fortunate.
"I can feel their pain right now," Wheatley said.
Slipping through the cracks
"Our responsibility right now is not football," Jackson said. "Our responsibility right now is making sure they have the care that they need in order to move forward. That's been tough."
When Jackson and the other assistants arrived at Meade under the leadership of coach
Football had been the entry point. Consistent interpersonal interactions sustained the growth. The restrictions in place by athletics policies have boiled that down to steam.
"I wouldn't say it's been impossible," Jackson said, emphasizing the word, "but for our community, a group we support and serve, I feel like we're the most marginalized school. In terms of county rules and restrictions that have been developed for safety, I feel like the physical health has been addressed, but the mental, spiritual, emotional health of our kids has been a concern."
With any future plans, Jackson wants AACPS to address the needs of its underprivileged student-athletes. Already, the coach sees incoming freshmen, rising seniors falling away. Jackson, an educator in
"I'm afraid to see what the next three months looks like. My biggest fear is we'll have kids that don't make it to spring," Jackson said.
Moving on to plan B
Football was his way of cooling it. After a year at Annapolis, Johnson, who will finish high school at
"I touch them and everything that's in my mind, it goes. I'm all ready for the game. I used it to get away from family stuff. My mom was on drugs really bad at first. I tried to get her to move with my aunt in
Football was a better outlet than his old ones. From around ages 13 to 16, Johnson punched holes in the wall, broke things. His uncle Blue, who had watched all his youth games growing up, died of cancer before Johnson's freshman year. Last year, one of Johnson's best friends met the same fate.
Just as he began his freshman season at Annapolis, Johnson tore three ligaments and suffered a level-3 shoulder separation on the football field. The summer after, he'd been walking the street when the mother of his friend and
Johnson didn't know. He'd lived with his aunt, who is struggling like his mother. She told him to talk with
Both
Johnson wasn't sure he wanted to make this move, but after talking with the couple, he made his choice.
"He was a really, really angry kid when we took him in,"
Johnson said he can't get mad anymore because he's grown up. He just looks at the world differently.
"By football being gone, I have everything on my mind. But I have a couple friends who get me through the day. My other family, the Princes, help me through a lot with school and keep me on track. They do the right things," Johnson said.
The Princes press Johnson about his schoolwork (his grade-point average rose to 3.0 since moving in), but don't restrict him from his friends and going out. They simply ask him to be smart about his choices, and Johnson respects it. He knows something bad could happen if he isn't smart.
After a breakout junior season, Johnson wanted better engagement between coaches and colleges, so he made the switch to
"Delvin's luckier than some because at least he has a good support network now with us. I know his family cares, but they can't do any better for him. There's a lot of kids that don't,"
Without football, possibly for the whole year, he and
Johnson's grandmother always told him that football doesn't last forever, and this year has shown that. Johnson enrolled in more challenging classes. If he gets his GPA up, he might be able to get accepted by some colleges. He plans to major in health sciences and become a trainer.
"I worry more for his future and his ability to play at the next level. His grades aren't the best, so football was really going to be an avenue for him,"
Caption: Meade graduate
Meade graduate