St. Cloud woman's insights from anorexia journey
St. Cloud Times (MN)Jul 05, 2015
At one point more than 10 years ago, she was severely underweight and at risk of organ failure. Her mental impairment made it hard for her to function on a daily basis.
Doss was struggling with an eating disorder, one that she had for years, until it got to a point where she couldn't hide it or deny it any longer.
Now, Doss considers herself in recovery, at a healthy weight and leading a support group near
"There are days that I feel lucky to be alive, because the eating disorder was so entrenched," she said.
She's also the executive director of Arc Kandiyohi County in
She's determined, looking for any way to help her stay on a good path. Doss has gone from not knowing how to stand up for herself to standing up vehemently for others who may not be able to advocate for themselves.
Her recovery journey can serve as an example for people, going through every day problems, falling down, brushing ourselves off and getting back up.
"I feel like recovery is a lifelong process," she said.
Bounce back.
It's like learning to take a punch and getting back up.
(She would know. She's recently started taking boxing lessons at a gym. For her, it represents fighting for herself. She hopes by her next birthday to participate in a fight.)
"It really takes a lot of time and takes a lot of hard work," she said. She advises baby steps.
Ask for help.
There's an element of trusting yourself and not being afraid to ask for help.
"It's important to find what works for you," she said. "It's all very individual."
For Doss, that meant speaking up for herself. It meant not being afraid to be noticed.
Identifying emotions is important too. Feelings aren't necessarily good or bad, she said, it's how you deal with them. For instance, you can channel anger to stand up for yourself or other people.
Story continues below.
Treat your whole self.
Doss is continually working on all aspects of herself, including her physical and mental health and spirituality.
For her physical health, that means eating right, exercising healthfully and maintaining a healthy weight.
"It takes awareness. Listen to your body," she said.
It also means taking 10 or 15 minutes every day to center herself and give herself some positive self talk.
Find your tribe.
Doss hosts a support group for people with eating disorders.
"It's a safe place where they can be honest," she said. "To be around people who relate. ... And it's helpful to me. ... It's an opportunity to take ownership of their recovery."
So find a group of women who can share your experiences, in person or online, because one exists. Trust me.
Give yourself (and others) a break.
Learn to be forgiving and learn to let go. Focusing on the negative or what you perceive as failure can keep you from getting up again. Reframe that negative into a positive.
For instance, Doss's adversity helps her in her job at a nonprofit.
"It helps me relate to other people in a genuine way," she said.
Reinforce.
Then there are the small things you can do to remind yourself of how far you've come. Doss has many.
"Every morning when my alarm goes off, there's a song I listen to," she said. It's
And above her bed, she has quotes and advice from various therapists, including one that said:
"Deep within you is everything that is perfect, ready to radiate through you and into the world."
"It makes me cry sometimes, because I'm daring for this to be true," she said.
Visualize.
She wears her resilience on her skin. A tattoo of archangel Michael covers the scars she has from cutting as a teenager.
"I know I will never cut again with this tattoo on there," she said.
She's gotten the tattoos over the past five years, in places she can see them, so she can remind herself of what she needs to do.
Other tattoos list her favorite Bible verses, each with a special meaning to her. One reminds her to plan for the future and trust in God. Another is about the prodigal child, to remind her that no matter how many times she screws up, she can pick herself up again. The last two are about being nonjudgmental.
Another spells out "Conquer your demons" in Latin. Doss views her eating disorder as a demon.
Let it out.
Everybody has their stuff, she said, but some don't talk about it.
But Doss said telling is important.
"That's one of the reasons I share my story. I want others to feel OK talking about it," she said. "Truth really does set you free."
Her advice is deceivingly simple, and something that she knows takes a lifetime: Find out who you are and be that person.
"I don't ever want to forget what I went through. I want to separate myself from it, don't get me wrong, but it was one of those opportunities where you really get to take a look at yourself, really get to the core of yourself, really find out who you are."
Follow
About Kelly
She took a medical leave to go to an inpatient facility in
She returned to school, earned her master's degree in political science. She taught history in high school for a few years before returning to
She started an eating disorders support group in
She's now been in recovery for 10 years and maintains a healthy weight.
What's making us happy this week
Here's the chorus:
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me.
What is making you happy this week? Join the conversation at www.facebook.com/livegreatstc.
Tips to be greater
Do something every day that gives you a sense of accomplishment or purpose. It can be small, like calling your mom, sending a kind note to a friend on Facebook or spending a few extra minutes with a child.
Doing something for yourself counts, too! Take five minutes, in the morning or evening this week, to list what you're grateful for or your positive attributes, to keep your thinking positive.
Your wellness calendar
--Yoga in the Park,
Walk in the Park.
--Better sleep.
--Dealing with workplace bullies. September. Details to come.
--Panel on bullying. September. Details to come.
--Follow @SctimesLivingGreater for other engagement opportunities and online live chats with experts on health topics.
___
(c)2015 the St. Cloud Times (St. Cloud, Minn.)
Visit the St. Cloud Times (St. Cloud, Minn.) at www.sctimes.com
Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.